Wake Me Up Inside
by Rochelle B
Summary: Remus has a crush on Sirius but thinks it hopeless. Until Sirius offers to pretend to be his boyfriend for a 'Lupin Family Function'. He forgot that his familiy is insane, and that Sirius isn't as dense as he looks. (Prequal to Should Have Been)
1. One: Lightning Crashes

Wake Me Up Inside

Version Two: Edited, Longer, and whatnot.

Notes: Well, here we go…I'm back, I'm sure you're all overjoyed. I'm ready to pick this up now that 'Should Have Been' is winding down, but edited to make it fit with the fifth book. Obviously, Sirius is a pureblood and his family is insane and Remus is a half-blood…only, for the sake of the story, he doesn't know that yet. …stop looking at me like that. It'll make sense later.

Well, I've added chapters and made things longer and…yeah. Just stuff. It'll be fun, I promise. Plus I had the first five chapters done prior to posting this one, so the updates should go at a more normal pace. I hope.

Hey, before I forget, if I could get someone to help me with my French, I'd be grateful. I've edited what I had, based on suggestions I got about the last story, but I could still use assistance. Clearly, I suck. I should have known better, I can barely write in English properly…

Summery: Remus has a crush on Sirius and when he gets an invitation to a wedding and Sirius offers to pretend to be his boyfriend he gets a perfect chance…apparently he forgot how insane family functions were.

Chapter one: Lightning Crashes

* * *

Remus J. Lupin scowled at the girls crowding his friends. Sirius and James had helped their team win the Quidditch Cup and now had girls all but throwing their panties at them. James of course had Lily so he couldn't take the girls too seriously, but Sirius wasn't so hindered.

Though, not for lack of trying to Remus' part. And it…wasn't fair. What did a guy have to do to get noticed, stand in front of Sirius naked?

"You okay Remus?" Peter asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Remus had been helping him with their Transfiguration homework but had become somewhat distracted by the party going on around them. It was nearing ten o'clock yet there seemed to be no sign of it ending, so the boys were at least attempting to do their work.

Remus because he was Remus, and that was just what he did, and Peter because he desperately needed to manage decently on the exams coming up. The end of sixth year loomed a head of them and all had trouble believing the time had passed so quickly. Remus turned to the smaller boy, flashing him an apologetic smile.

"Fine. Can I help you with this later? I have something I really need to take care of."

"It's fine. I'll…umm…" He trailed off and shrugged some. "Find something to do."

"Thanks Pete." Remus stood up and headed for the portrait hole.

He didn't notice how Sirius suddenly lost all interest in the many girls crowding him and the other members of the team and he didn't feel the questioning gaze the dark haired teen laid on him because he was far too wrapped up in his own thoughts.

The moon was due to become full on Sunday. It had gone by strangely uneventfully last month, and probably this month as well, but Remus had to confess he wasn't looking forward to the full moons without the company of his friends. He'd finally been able to go through a change and not wake up the next morning covered in bites and bruises.

He wasn't eager to go back to the way it'd been before.

And, even more than that, another year was going to go by without Sirius figuring out that he head-over-heels for him. It wasn't entirely Sirius' fault of course, Remus had this tendency to get tongue-tied anytime he wanted to confess his feelings, and nothing good came from it.

He wasn't sure what it was holding him back. Fear of rejection seemed obvious, yet he knew that wasn't it. Sirius had accepted that he…preferred males to females, had even gone so far as to search out all of the gay boys in Hogwarts so Remus could 'find himself a nice boy to pop his cherry'. (And yes, Remus even adored Sirius' vulgar mouth…)

It went without saying that it hadn't happened and probably wouldn't happen until he could move on from this silly crush.

Sirius was only interested in him as a friend and he knew that…he didn't know why he kept hanging on when it was painfully clear he didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of landing Hogwarts self-proclaimed 'Witch Killer'.

Rumors surrounded Sirius and Remus had no idea what was true and what wasn't. The only thing he could say for sure was that Sirius certainly wasn't with him, and that was a serious tragedy in Remus' honest opinion. 

------------------------------ 

"Where'd you go last night Moony?" Sirius asked curiously as the brunette sat down across from him. Peter was attacking his food while James and Lily talked about the Charms test James had later today. Apparently Lily was giving her boyfriend some last minute advice.

"A walk." Remus said, shrugging some. "I'm surprised you even noticed I was gone." Sirius raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Remus frowned as he put some bacon on to his plate. "Why does it have to mean anything at all? I'm just surprised you noticed, you did seem really preoccupied with the party and all of those girls."

He tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice, really he did, but was pretty sure he failed, judging by the look Lily gave him. Then again, she was oddly observant, where as Sirius was clinically oblivious, since he didn't seem to pick up on it.

Not that he ever seemed to pick up on much of anything…

"Oh. Yeah." Sirius nodded then glanced up as owls started to fill the Great Hall.

Remus glanced as well, though he didn't expect anything. The year was winding down and it wasn't like his parents had a hell of a lot to say to him.

So Remus couldn't be blamed for jumping when an envelope was dropped into his oatmeal. He winced and pulled it out, noting the Lupin crest stamped in brown wax over the flap. He was sorely tempted to ignore it until the ink began to run and he couldn't read it, but he knew that would bring nothing but trouble in the end. He cracked the seal and pulled it out.

Remus

We have fantastic news. Your aunt Patricia will be getting married July 12th, so we'll all be going to the Lupin family ground to get ready and celebrate. You and Romulus well take a train straight from King's Cross. As always you may bring a date if you wish.

Love always, Mere and Pere

"So what is it this time?" Sirius asked. Remus blinked at him then realized Sirius must have read what had to be dismay on his face. (Okay, so maybe he didn't miss everything, just everything that might have given him a clue of Remus' feelings for him. That was just so Sirius.) "A letter from the parents right?"

"Of course." He smiled sardonically. "My Aunt Patricia is getting married three weeks after we get out of school. I'm to take the train to Old Lupin Manor immediately after getting off the Hogwarts Express. This means a month trapped at that stuffy old place with my entire family."

"Why do you have to be up there so long?"

"Lupin weddings are a big family thing, starting like…two months in advance. It's like a giant party at night and chaos during the day. Then there's the wedding and then much…I don't know, rejoicing. A week at the least." Remus smirked. "Sometimes the party lasts longer then the actual marriage. This is my aunt's sixth husband if I remember correctly."

"Wow. I'll pray for you Moony. Wish I could help, but your parents aren't exactly my biggest fans. Hell, my own parents aren't even my biggest fans. Or fans…period."

"That's all right. Its strictly family, close friends of the bride and groom, and anyone crazy enough to date a member of our family." Remus made a face. "So I'll suffer alone."

"Remus, can you believe Auntie Patricia is getting married again?" Remus' twin sat down next to him as he spoke, pointedly ignoring the dirty looks the Gryffindors laid on him. Romulus was in Ravenclaw and, as Sirius had pointed out on more than on occasion, just as stuck up as the rest of their family.

Remus tended to agree. He knew his friends often wondered how he and Romulus were of the same family, let alone twins but Remus had to confess he too was at a bit of a loss in that respect. Besides, he often wondered the same of Sirius and his family.

Of course, Sirius had finally gotten away from his family. Remus had yet to muster up the courage to do so himself, and so he suffered in the presence of his family. He wished he could just pack up and leave, but knew he'd never do it.

Family ties ran far too deep. His family had always, and probably would always, control most of his life. From the moment he'd been bitten, they'd lorded over him as if they didn't trust him to make his own decisions. And he let them do it. 

"Yes." Remus said dully. "Really, its not at all surprising, unless you consider the fact she waited an entire year before sinking her claws into another man." 

Romulus made a face at him then waved it off. "Do you think cousin Shannon will be there?"

"If there is truly a god then no." Remus' eye twitched. Their cousin Shannon was…well an extremely grabby young man, whose favorite target seemed to be Remus' behind. He'd informed him on more than one occasion that he wasn't 'up for grabs' but if the older teen gave a damn he sure didn't show it.

Remus, to be frank, didn't care for him in the least.

"I think I'll take Lisa." Romulus said, ignoring that as well. (He ignored a significant amount of what Remus said to him, since very little of it was nice, flattering, or encouraging.) "It's too bad you don't have anyone to take Remus. Maybe Mum will find someone to set you up with."

Remus turned and glared at his twin, golden brown meeting pale blue. "Mêle toi de tes affaires."

"Tes affaires sont mes affaires à moi aussi. Qu'est ce que mère et père vont dire si tu vas au marriage seul?"

"À peine." Remus would have continued, but he noticed his friends were staring at him, confused. Right, English. Though, really, he doubted his brother would afford them the same courtesy. "And what makes you think I'm going alone?"

Remus had to confess he was a touch offended. Why did everyone always just assume he'd be alone all of the time? Okay, maybe it was true that he didn't fuck anything that moved like Romulus, but that didn't mean his entire family had to think he was some kind of…monk in training or something.

Though he'd probably be better off as one considering.

''Tu as un petit-ami, Remus? Que c'est mignon." Romulus' tone was clearly mocking. Remus glowered at him. Like he figured, Romulus couldn't care less that the entire table (and a large part of the Slytherin and Hufflepuff tables to either side of the Gryffindor table) were staring at them and undoubtedly wondering what the hell they were saying.

''Va chier."

Romulus sighed. "Now now Remus, language."

"Vas-t'en Romulus." Remus said, tone clearly exasperated.

"Si tu veux, petit. Je te verrais sur le train, avec ton petit-ami, je l'espère." He smiled. "I'll even tell Mere and Pere you're bringing someone." With that Romulus got up and walked back to his table, looking incredibly smug as he did.

"So…what just happened?" Sirius asked.

Remus kept meaning to teach Sirius some French, as the other boy was constantly insisting that Romulus was insulting him.

Which was, to be honest, absolutely true. The disdain Romulus and the rest of their family had for Sirius was usually reserved for Muggle Born wizards, but Sirius was a special case. They feared he would be a bad influence.

Remus sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I just doomed myself to a month of meeting every eligible boy and girl at this stupid wedding. Again. I swear he's been doing this to me since puberty hit. I'm a idiot you know, letting him do this every time."

"No worries, I know what a pain brothers can be." Sirius said, offering a small smile. "I don't suppose you could just not go? You could spend the summer with Peter or something."

"Or us." James said. Lily smacked him the arm and he blinked then flushed. "Well, not me…and I'm not sure if another friend from school would go over too well."

Lily rolled her eyes then looked at Remus apologetically. "James is coming home with me to meet my parents and sister this summer."

"It's okay, I have to go. There is no escaping the Lupin family torture fests." Remus sighed then stood up, grabbing his bag. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. "I'll see you in class."

He hurried out, shaking his head. He always fell for Romulus' game. His twin would tell his parents he had a date, then he'd show up alone and they would feel the urge the compensate for it by trying to set him up with every single person within a ten mile radius. Never mind the fact he was related to well over half of them by more then marriage.

"Moony." Sirius had followed him it seemed and was chasing him to catch up. He stopped and waited for the dark haired teen, a bemused expression on his face. "I was thinking-"

"Did you hurt yourself?" Remus inquired, falling into their usual 'insult-insult' way of discussing things. Sirius however didn't rise to the bait as he usually would.

"And I thought I could go to this wedding thing with you." Remus blinked, eyes widening. That actually sounded like a great idea. If anyone could make the monotony and pointlessness of these get-togethers seem worthwhile, it was Sirius…but, of course, the rules.

He shook his head. "That's a nice offer but I can't just take a friend."

"Well, I got that part thought out. I'll pretend to be your boyfriend."

"Pretend." There was a note of bitterness that Sirius apparently didn't catch. Then Remus snorted. "Thank you Pads, but I don't think it'll work. My entire family is going to be watching and looking for something to gossip about, it's how they work. I don't think its something you can just…fake."

"Optimism really isn't your strong suit is it Moony?"

"Lets see, I'm sixteen, notoriously anti-social, a werewolf and a virgin with a family so prissy they snub even each other and turn everything into a contest of who can blow the most money." Remus raised an eyebrow. "I see no reason to be optimistic. Do you see a reason I should be optimistic that I seem to be missing, because if you have one, I would love to hear it."

"You've got me on your side."

Remus groaned, putting a hand over his eyes. "Well fantastic Sirius, that really gave me the boost of confidence I was lacking. If you'll excuse me, I have to go throw myself from the Astronomy Tower." He turned and began to stalk off.

Though, with his luck, he'd bounce.

"Come on, you're one of my best friends." Sirius said, chasing after him "I can't let you suffer through this. You wouldn't let any of us go through this alone and I won't let you."

Remus wondered if maybe Sirius was being just a little over dramatic…but no, Remus' family really was that bad. Worse even.

"I work best alone." Sirius just stared at him. Remus stared back then shook his head again. "No. It wouldn't work…you can't even speak basic French. My family would kill me if I brought a guy who couldn't at least speak French. It's a sign of good breeding."

"I'm pureblood, how much better could my breeding get?"

"Well, you did run away from home and shun all that is good, wholesome, accepted, and pure." Remus pointed out. "They won't treat you any better than they would Lily, if not worse. It'd be best to have as much going for you as possible."

"Well you'll teach me all of that important junk before we go." Sirius said patiently. Remus bit his bottom lip. He should say no, he'd only be torturing himself by doing this, but…it was appealing. Maybe by getting Sirius to pretend to be his boyfriend he could prove to the other teen he was worth another look, that he could be more than just his best friend.

…Still…it was a bad idea. A very bad idea. A horribly bad idea even. His parents would never believe it.

His brother would never let them believe it. Romulus wanted nothing more than to watch him squirm and be tormented by being forced into as much family contact as his parents could muster. If he brought someone with him, certain allowances would be made so he could entertain his guest, no matter how much his parents hated him.

…Then again…his parents would hate him. Every pureblood in the world knew of the trouble in the Black family and how Sirius had been disowned. His parents might just stroke out if he brought Sirius with him, and that'd be worth how awful it'd be to _pretend_ to be Sirius' boyfriend.

"We'd have to start now. And Rom would have to believe it too." Remus said finally

"Bring it on." Sirius said, beaming. "I'm nothing if not a good liar."

"True enough." Remus said, smiling. "Meet me in the library later to talk, okay?"

"Sure." Sirius said, nodding. The chime for first class was about to sound and Remus had advanced Charms with Lily, while Sirius, James, and Peter had Divinations. From what Remus had gathered it was a total crock of a class, which was why the three of them took it.

"Wait, Moony…" Remus blinked, tilting his head off to the side. Was Sirius reconsidering already? "I forget where the library is. It's been so long."

"…You are so hopeless.


	2. Two: What You Think You Know

Wake Me Up Inside

* * *

Chapter Two

What you think you know

* * *

They met in the library everyday for the next two weeks, discussing how they were going to make this work, as well as teaching Sirius basic French with the aid of a very nice book Remus had found. (Or at least nice in Remus' opinion. Sirius hated the damn thing.) A very strict teacher enchanted the book and if Sirius didn't repeat or use a word correctly it began to insult him in very fluent, and angry, French.

Only a week of school remained and the problem of how to make it convincing enough for even Romulus hung over them. Remus was starting to have hundredth doubts (having long since passed up second doubts) about the entire scheme.

Sirius however was more determined than ever. Give the teen a challenge and he'd do everything in his power to conquer it. That was just who he was. Whether or not that was a good thing was something Remus wasn't totally sure of.

Remus had his head pillowed on his arms and was watching Sirius becoming increasing annoyed with the book in his hands. Finally Sirius shut it and shoved it back into his bag. Remus smiled, feeling a little sleepy. The library was warm and quiet, save the whispers of other students, and it was easy to relax in such a place.

"The things I do for you Remmie."

"I appreciate it." Remus said, fighting back a yawn.

"You'd better." Sirius muttered, looking around. They'd chosen a table in the back of the library, where they were almost sure to not be disturbed. Yet Sirius looked a little uneasy. "Hey Rem?"

"Yes?" He looked up, blinking tiredly.

He had the strange urge to push his glasses up on his nose, but didn't. Really, he despised the things. His eyesight was fine, beyond fine actually, which was the problem. He'd found he could see things there was no way the average person could see, so enchanted glasses in order to make his vision worse were needed, in order to keep people from being suspicious.

It'd become needed after an incident involving a rouge bludger and a certain annoying Slytherin…

They were little more than a pain in the ass.

"I was wondering…how far are we taking this?"

"What?" Remus asked, stretching some. He was trying to wake himself, but had the feeling that he was failing miserably.

"I mean…this. How far does it go? How long have we been together, are we sleeping together, are we affectionate or not, do we kiss in front of other people…that sort of thing."

Remus sat up abruptly and this time did push up his glasses. "I…don't know. This was your plan, in case you've forgotten."

Sirius nodded, clearly trying not to laugh. "You're right, but you should be in on this too. You're half of this relationship after all." Remus nodded, swallowing. "So, how long?"

"A few months, I think. Nothing too long, so my parents don't start contemplating weddings, but anything too short and they'll be upset I brought you. More upset." He added, as an after thought.

"Are we sleeping together?"

"No." Remus said quickly, and then blushed at the amused look his friend was now wearing. "I mean…no offense or anything, I'm sure you'd be…umm…"

"Great in bed? So I've been told." Sirius was all cheeky confidence now and all Remus could do was continue to blush and stammer, feeling more and more like an idiot with each passing second. Then, seemingly taking pity upon him, Sirius reached out and took his hand. "Its fine. If anyone asks, and people will just to be annoying, we can say we're waiting."

"And they'll think that really I'm just too much of a girl to sleep with you." Remus sighed. It was odd, he realized, that he wasn't taking his hand back from Sirius, but instead was sitting there and watching their intertwined fingers. Even odder that Sirius was holding his hand.

"Would that be the truth? I mean, honest Remmie, if you wanted you could have-"

"I'm waiting." Remus interrupted, shrugging. Sirius' thumb moved over the back of his hand, making small circles and Remus could feel that his hand was rough, calloused, and nothing like his own. Sirius smiled and nodded.

"Than that'll be the only true thing we say." Remus nodded his agreement, but couldn't stop himself from wishing there was more truth to this than there really was. "And what about this?"

Sirius was gesturing to their hands and Remus blinked, clueless. What the hell was he asking? He was rather distracted by the contact and the warmth his friend had. He couldn't explain it, but he felt utterly content, in spite of the fact it was all just a huge lie.

That didn't change how comforting and…real it felt.

"The touching. Do we touch, hold hands, stand close to each other…all of that stuff."

Remus licked his bottom lip. "I suppose. That's how these things work, right?" Sirius should have known better than to ask him. His entire relationship knowledge came from watching Lily and James, and it went without saying that anything they pretended to have couldn't be like that, for obvious reasons.

The first being that the Ministry, being only mildly ahead of the Muggle-World, had been forced to declassify homosexual sex as a crime less than a decade before. Ironically it hadn't always been that way, not did it make much sense. An estimated 35% of the Wizarding world was less than hetero, which was said to explain why Muggles outnumbered them by so much. Odds are the law had been passes at a time of anti-Muggle feeling, to encourage more breeding within the magical families.

Hogwarts was, as far as a school that was equal parts pureblood and Muggle-born went, fairly open minded about the relationships its students pursued. Purebloods frowned on homosexual relationships (because they felt that anything that got in the way of purebloods having as many children as possible was bad), and Half Bloods tended to follow along that train of thought as well. Muggle-Borns, however, seemed open to just about anything, no matter what the laws were when they returned home for the summer.

After all, if magic and the like existed, why should they care if two boys or two girls wanted to date? At least that was something they'd heard of before…not that outrageous when you considered it. Sadly, both Sirius and Remus were from pureblood families. It went without saying that Remus' family wasn't going to be pleased, no matter how often they looked away when his male relatives came around. They probably expected him to settle down and marry a nice girl regardless.

Still, as 'open' as things were in comparison to other places, you still didn't see gay couples hugging and kissing in the Great Hall, or holding hands in the hallway, or cuddling and making out in the library during free periods. Well…maybe the last one, sometimes if they were either very bold or popular enough to withstand what others would say, but not the other two.

No one was that bold. Not even Sirius.

Couples wouldn't face too much criticism or hatred out in front everyone, as most people would frown on open displays of bigotry, but there would be whispers and rumors, mostly from the Slytherin end of the spectrum. And everyone would shrug, because what was the harm in talk?

"More or less." Sirius said, nodding. "And what about kissing?"

Remus knew he was blushing again. "What about it?"

"Do we? Don't we? Are there rules if we do? Closed mouth, hands above the waist, only when we're sure someone would be watching…?"

"…have you done this type of thing before?" Remus asked, looking away from Sirius.

"Nah. Just don't want there to be any misunderstandings." Sirius smiled. "You're too good a friend for me to risk anything going wrong, or doing something you don't approve of."

Remus wasn't sure what to think of that. It was great that Sirius was about him, and how he felt about this…but it was also disturbing that he could try and make things comfortable for him, yet couldn't see how completely gone Remus was over him…

"Well…I guess, kissing is needed, to be convincing. And…we shouldn't over plan it, otherwise it might look forced." He let out a breath. "I won't be upset if you just…decide to kiss me or something, its for the image. And…lets keep it school appropriate, I think. I am a blushing virgin after all."

"True enough." Sirius smiled, then leered at him. "So, should we practice?"

"…kissing?" Remus chuckled nervously. "Real funny Siri."

"Whose joking? It's for authenticity. It simply won't do if, for our first public kiss, you pass out from the sheer amazement of the experience, or turn beet red, as you are so prone to doing." Sirius sounded very calm and logical, as if this was as routine as discussing Quidditch plays to him, or the latest prank.

And, in a way, it was just the latest prank.

Remus bit his bottom lip, thinking for a moment. "You know I've never kissed anyone before." Cousins and people his parents tried to force upon him aside. Those didn't count, since they usually consisted of Remus grimacing and wondering what it would take for his parents to get the hint.

"Well, Remmie, you are one of my two best friends and you do tell me everything about your personal life, sad and non-existent though it may be, so yes, I am aware."

"So I'm probably no good at it." Remus continued.

Sirius tilted his head off to the side. "Maybe."

Remus pulled his hand back finally, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "And people may notice that sort of thing, right?"

"It's possible."

"So practice wouldn't be…horrible."

Sirius smirked. "Finally I get to teach you something. It'll be fun." He paused. "Assuming you don't mind that your first kiss is going to be…a bit of a scam."

Remus shrugged, deciding to refrain from saying that as long as it was Sirius, he didn't mind that it'd be 'for the sake of image' because that seemed terribly pathetic and obsessive, even in Remus' own mind, so he couldn't even imagine how bad it would sound out loud.

"I think I'll get over it."

Sirius nodded again then looked around. "And what about the break up? I mean, when we get back to school, we'll have to tell people something."

"I'll tell them I caught you snogging one of my cousins." Sirius scowled and Remus smiled. "Its perfectly believable and you know it."

"Let's refrain from damaging my reputation any more than it all ready is. How about…difference in direction."

"Okay."

Sirius nodded then, with a smile that reeked of mischief, leaned over the table and pressed his lips against Remus'. Remus stiffened, staring straight forward with wide-eyes. He looked everywhere but at Sirius for a moment, considering.

He was kissing Sirius…well, really, Sirius was kissing him and he was sitting there looking like an idiot, but…the basic principal still applied. Lips…Sirius…His…Touching.

A hand touched the side of his face then moved back to thread through his hair and pull him closer. Something wet flicked over his lips and, not sure what else he could do, Remus parted them obligingly. Sirius' tongue moved over his and he couldn't hold back the groan the bubbled up inside of him.

Then he heard it, a gasp and a snicker. It must have been close, because Sirius heard it too and pulled back, looking in the direction it'd come from. Remus turned too, while one hand went up to brush over his lips, which he was willing to swear were tingling.

He saw a flash of black and purple and arched an eyebrow. The only person he knew of with such a color scheme was Lisa Row, a Ravenclaw girl and by far the hugest gossip to ever walk the face of the earth. She liked to talk about everyone and everything, no matter how little truth there was to the actual rumor.

After all, what was the truth or the feelings of those involved when you had a juicy piece of someone's personal life just waiting to be revealed to the entire populace of Hogwarts, right?

Or perhaps Remus took it all far too seriously. He didn't care much for gossip and gossips. It was a rare occasion that he was ever spoken of, but he recalled last year rumors of a 'drug addiction' (As an explanation for his frequent illness and paler than normal exterior) had run rampant. It eventually came to a point that he was a prostitute, Sirius his pimp, and James his best customer.

It hadn't bothered him then, and still didn't, but he'd known Lily had been furious over the whole thing.

"Everyone will know she saw us by the end of the week."

"Well, no worries then, since we'll be on the train by then." Sirius said, looking nothing short of cheerful and sly. Remus blinked once then sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"You knew she was there."

"Why, Remmie, I'm sure I don't know what you're trying to imply."

"Oh spare me Siri. You knew she was there and you kissed me knowing she would see it, and even if she hadn't, we're out in front of…everyone. Explain for those of us who are slightly confused."

"Com'n, I'll explain on the way to the tower." Remus got up and gathered his things quickly. They left the library and Remus was willing to swear that already people were looking at them oddly. "Lisa will make sure everyone knows in a matter of moments and, since we want this convincing, its something everyone needs to be in on."

"So you are basically entrusting Lisa to do all the footwork for you?"

"Exactly mate."

"That's rather devious of you Padfoot."

Sirius swept into a low bow. "I try Moony, I try."

"Yeah. It's all fun and games until the wrong person finds out." Remus said, sighing. It was borderline common knowledge that Remus didn't like girls, but he certainly didn't…flaunt it, out in the open. Maybe it was stupid, but he was genuinely afraid someone with a less than favorable opinion would find out and when they weren't within the safety of Hogwarts…

Well things happened.

It wasn't that he feared getting hurt, he sincerely doubted anyone in Hogwarts could actually _hurt_ him, unless they had silver handy, but he was afraid of hurting someone else. His ability to control the wolf was good, and he didn't think he'd react too strongly if he was the one in trouble.

But if this had negative repercussions for Sirius…

He could almost feel a growl working at the back of his throat at the thought. It wouldn't be pleasant for those involved, that much he could promise.

"Don't worry Remmie, I'll protect you." Sirius' tone was light, but Remus could hear an undertone of seriousness. And he looked up at the younger teen and smiled, before shaking his head some.

"Sirius-"

"I mean it." Sirius' smile dropped way completely. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt you…I mean…you know what I mean, right? I wouldn't let anything happen."

Remus chuckled and nodded. "I understand. Really Sirius, I never thought you could be so sweet and thoughtful." He made his voice a high falsetto and batted his eyes playfully. "I just don't know what I'd do without you!"

Sirius shoved him, a blush creeping up over his cheeks. Remus laughed even as he stumbled, but regained his balance quickly, before falling back into step with Sirius.

"Aww, Siri, come'n, is that any way to treat your boyfriend?" A few people in the hallways turned to look at them. Sirius blinked as well, as if he couldn't believe Remus had actually said that out loud. Remus didn't blame him; he couldn't believe he'd said it either. What the hell had he been thinking, people didn't…

Oh.

His mind pulled an expert shut down when Sirius pushed him against a wall and kissed him again.

Maybe Sirius was that bold.

* * *

Remus swept his hair out of his face as he walked down the near empty halls. It was near time for curfew and, Prefect or not, he had to be in the tower. …Well, actually, being a Prefect meant he really had to be in the tower, so he could be sure everyone else was in the tower.

And, while he made exceptions for his friends on occasion, he tried, at least, to enforce the rules. He just…felt like he owed the others sometimes, and that letting them sneak in or out every now and then was the least of what he could do.

He really was a horrible prefect. He didn't know what the hell McGonagall and Dumbledore had been thinking when they'd reinstated him for another year.

He turned the corner and nearly slammed into Severus Snape, of all possible people. He took a step back and prepared himself what would surely be an unwanted confrontation. Severus was still smarting over that whole 'werewolf' thing, Remus knew, and was likely to haul off and hex him without a seconds notice.

He was surprised, however, when Severus just crossed his arms over his chest, before glancing over his shoulder. A pale white hand snaked out of the shadows, touching Severus' shoulder, then a girl walked out. It took Remus a moment to identify the girl as Autumn Pryce, a Gryffindor. Or, she had been at least. Remus had been sure she dropped out the year before.

Her eyes were so pale they almost seemed to glow white in the dim lamplight. Her lips quirked and she tilted her head off to the side. She'd once had rust colored hair, long and curly, that the vast majority of females had envied, but now it was cut in a style similar to the one James wore.

"Remus. It's been far too long."

"Autumn." He said, looking between the two of them nervously. The older girl smiled, mischief plain in her eyes.

"You know, of all the wolves I've met, you're the nicest." She rested her chin on Snape' shoulder and pouted, ignoring the shocked look Remus was wearing. "It's such a shame, the way things are going to go for you. Lots of heartache, only fleeting moments of happiness. And, by the way, Cerberus is a splendid middle name, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Well, he was officially confused. He'd heard rumors that Autumn was a seer, and was prone to horrible seizures as such, but this was kind of freaky. He was tempted to ask her what the hell she meant, but something more pressing plagued him.

She'd called him a wolf.

He glared at Snape, who just blinked at him placidly, then looked down at the petite woman.

"You're frightening him Autumn."

"She is not!" Remus said indignantly. "What I want to know is how she knows what I am."

"I know everything about everyone. I can see into the very depths of your mind and soul." She intoned and he shivered. She held his gaze for a moment, and then snorted loudly. "I'm sorry Remus, but it just too tempting to resist. No, actually, Severus told me. He's got a big mouth."

"Autumn."

"Well, you do. But it's okay, I hear Lucius gets quite the thrill out of it."

"That's disgusting." Never mind the fact that he was sure Lucius Malfoy was engaged to Sirius' cousin Narcissa, that was just…disgusting.

"Yes." Snape nodded slowly. "I agree completely."

"Though probably in a different fashion." Autumn said, bouncing gleefully. "Right Severus?"

The Slytherin smirked. "Undoubtedly." He quirked an eyebrow at her and she giggled before turning back to Remus, hands clasped behind her back.

"I'll tell you a secret in return, to make up for Severus being a naughty boy."

"_Autumn_…"

Remus hesitated. "If you're going to tell me you two were shagging I don't want to know."

"…Well, we were, but that's not it." She giggled again while smoothing back her hair.

"We were not."

"Not for lack of trying Severus. You have such a stick up your arse. Or perhaps the problem is you want a stick up your arse. I forget sometimes." She muttered, walking away from the taller teen. He rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything else. She leaned forward and put her hands on Remus' shoulder. Her lips brushed against his ear as she spoke and he couldn't help but shiver.

Damn but she was scary.

"Two decades from now, your son will hold my son as he suffers his first vision." She paused for a moment then smirked. "And Severus thinks your bum is cute, but that's not important."

Before Remus could react Snape had the woman by the arm and was shoving her back from the shadows they'd emerged from, which Remus realized was really one of the many secret rooms Hogwarts was riddled with. She was laughing and shouted over her shoulder.

"And I think you and Black are a cute couple. Good luck with that!"

Snape glared at the offending hole in the wall, then chanced a glance at him. "Close your mouth Lupin, its wholly unattractive. You can't hope to keep Black's attention if you plan to gape like that all of the time."

Remus shut his mouth with an audible click then stared at the Slytherin, finding himself unable to resist the temptation. "You think my bum is cute?"

Snape fixed a withering glare on him and Remus was suddenly very glad looks couldn't kill; otherwise he'd be one very dead teenager. He laughed softly then continued on his trek to the tower.

For some odd reason it didn't occur to him that there was no reason Autumn should have been in the castle, or her first odd comment. She was, after all, a Gryffindor who spent all her time with Slytherins, it went without saying that she was a little nutty.

For those of you who've read 'Should Have Been', yes Autumn is Chase's mum. She went round the bend a bit faster than Chase did though. Chase could probably make twenty without showing any effects of his powers, beyond a morbid sense of humor, Autumn worked herself into a coma by the time she was twenty-six.

Hp4Me: Well I'm glad you're glad.

I Shave Clowns: Remind me to run the French part of your review through a translator… Thanks nonetheless.

Tanya: LOL. Well, strong reactions are always encouraging…I just hope you didn't shout that out loud. And I try to update once a week, so I hope that's soon enough for you.

Phinea: Nah, my French sucks, trust me.

Chimerical: Well Sirius doesn't use the library much. He's one of those 'sit and class and absorb' types, not a 'study' type. And I agree…where would we be, as a society, without Pads and Moony angst-ridden fluff I ask you!

Firesnake: Well I can't tell you, cause that'd ruin the surprise. Just believe that there is a lot more going on with the Lupin family that we suspect. As for AU…in a technical sense, sorta. Not as AU as the stories that follow, but still…

Lilsi: Romulus is rather…iffy, isn't he? Poor Remus…

Obviously : Thanks hon.

Broken Bottle: Deleted it for repairs. The French…I can't tell you what it means, exactly. I don't remember all of it. The basic gist was that Rom needed to get the hell out of Remus' affairs.


	3. Three: Clear the Propaganda

Wake Me Up Inside

Notes: Some mild religious type babble…now, really, I can't see Witches and Wizards as overly Christian/Muslim/Jewish (That whole killing all witches thing puts a sliver of doubt in my mind) so I tried to keep it nondescript. And, for the record, I love James (and teenage Peter for that matter) , but he is Pureblood, and we do recall what was said in the last chapter about Purebloods opinions of gays. However James, being James, has a more mild reaction than say Sirius' parents would have.

And Lily…well, I want to marry Lily and, I hate to invoke the 'all knowing and accepting female friend' cliché, but I can't see her being anything else. After ending up at a school for wizards, I imagine homosexuality is like "Whatever."

Oh, and this is unbeated. Most of my stuff is…But hey, if anyone would like to offer to look over my stuff and fix my mistakes, I'd love it. Besides, you'd get the privilege _(coughs)_ of having ideas bounced off of you. (Yeah, I know, privilege is pushing it…)

----------------------------

Chapter Three

Clear the Propaganda

----------------------------

"I can't believe it." James said, voice hushed.

He, Peter, and Lily were sitting in the Gryffindor commons at one of the tables. Lily had made herself comfortable in one of the squashy chairs and had her legs in James' lap. James was rubbing one of her bare legs absently. Peter was sitting across from them. The subject of their conversation were in the sixth year boys dorms.

Any other time they'd assumed they were packing, but now they couldn't be sure.

"What can't you believe, exactly? That Remus likes boys, that Sirius is apparently Remussexual, or that they finally figured out the obvious and got together? Or that they have the guts to admit it freely, the rest of the school be damned?"

"What do you mean they…Remussexual?" James looked over at his girlfriend, who rolled her eyes at him.

"Obviously. Sirius isn't homosexual, anyone who watches him watch girls all day can see that, but he clearly likes Remus ergo he is Remussexual. One with asexual attraction for French, brunette, anti-social guys." Lily concluded with a smile.

Her smile wavered when she realized both Peter and James were staring at her as if she'd just confessed to having an affair with the headmaster. She frowned at them before arching an eyebrow in silent question. It was Peter that spoke.

"How can you just…be okay with it?"

"With what?"

"Remus and Sirius." Peter said, frowning. His pale blond hair was falling into his face, as it was prone to do, but he ignored it. "It's not…you know, natural." She just stared. "That's why God made two sexes, man and woman. If we were supposed to be with people of the same sex, there'd only be one."

"What about people who're both? Or neither." Lily asked mildly. Even James was peering at Peter oddly. Clearly he was surrounded…he was the only normal person around. Peter, however, looked properly perplexed, and Lily turned back to James. "And you?"

"It's…weird." James said slowly. "I know that all those polls and stuff say that there are a lot of them-"

"Remus and Sirius aren't a 'them'." Lily said, eyes flashing. Her fingers twitched and James had a feeling very little was saving him from being turned into something very nasty. "Remus and Sirius are Remus and Sirius, two of your three best friends and the people you trust more than you trust even me. They are the same people they were yesterday, before you found out they fancied each other. Sirius will still play Quidditch, help you torment poor Severus, and be in on every idiotic scheme you pull. And Remus will still be there, albeit reluctantly, to make sure you don't break you idiot necks."

Her voice was rising steadily and people were beginning to turn and look in anticipation for some sort of scene between Gryffindor's Golden Couple. James sighed.

Vultures.

"Lily, lower your-"

"James Harrison Potter, don't you dare tell me to lower my voice!" She was on her feet suddenly and scowling. James was in trouble and the whole damn tower was going to know about it. He put his hands up in a defensive gesturer.

"Okay, Lils, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Didn't mean what?" Her eyes narrowed until they became slits with the barest hint of green. He swallowed, looking at Peter for help, but the blond was just watching Lily with wide eyes. Lily was pretty…intimidating when she was so inclined.

"About you being quite."

"**_And_**?" She all but growled at him. "What about your best friends James?"

"What about them?" He asked, feeling a bit like a scolded child. He felt even more like it when he crossed his arms over his chest and slumped low in his seat, refusing to meet Lily's eyes. "It's not right you know. They two of them…like that. Sure, we always thought Remus was a bit of a dandy-"

"_James!_"

"We always thought Remus preferred the company of other men." James corrected quickly. Lily nodded approvingly, putting a hand on her hip. She waited, with a patient expression of her face, for him to continue. He didn't trust that look.

Lily was, to be frank, the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on. Her hair was the color of a flame, red intermixed with gold, and was cut short this year, fanning against the middle of her neck, and she wore her bangs so they appeared feathery and light. Her eyes were emerald green, matching her milky complexion wonderfully. And she wasn't lacking in the figure area at all…

But underneath that gorgeous exterior laid the mind of someone worthy of the Marauder. And that sort of mind mixed with that body, was nothing short of a dangerous combination. James was wary of Lily's sudden change to calm and collected.

He didn't trust that look.

"And I suppose that's fine. But Sirius…he's a ladies' man and you know it. Girls fall all over him and they'd kill to go out with them-"

"But they never get the chance." Lily said, rolling her eyes. "Have you really not noticed how little Sirius dates, for a guy who could supposedly have any girl he wanted?"

"…" No, actually, he hadn't. But now that Lily pointed it out, it did seem rather obvious. Other than a brief relationship with Raevyn Patil, who had been a Ravenclaw two years ahead of him, Sirius had never actually gone with anyone.

… "Oh."

"Quite." Lily rolled her eyes. "Boys are such idiots. Now you two are going to march up there this instant, be happy and supportive, and act as if you know all along and it doesn't bother you in the least, am I clear?"

"Yes." Both he and Peter muttered.

"Good boys." She sat down, picking at a lose thread on her shorts. "Now, do we have a plan for how we'll handle this? Because Goddess knows that if we don't do this carefully you two will foul the whole thing up without even trying."

Peter arched an eyebrow in silent comment, as if trying to say 'Why exactly do you continue to go out with her again.'

James just smiled and pulled Lily's legs back into his lap. She giggled before flashing him an indulgent smile. He went back to his earlier task of drawing circles on her legs with his finger. Why did he go out with Lily Evans, when she insulted him and his friends and was constantly on his case about pranks and not growing up?

Because, he supposed, she was exactly the sort of woman a guy like him needed.

Who else could keep him in line?

---------------------

"He likes your bum."

"Apparently."

"He went through all of this to expose you, and he really just wants to shag you?"

"So it would seem. Wait…what makes you think he wants to shag me?"

"Well, he likes you arse and I fail to see what else your bum would be good for."

"You're so…"

"Vulgar? Crude? Foul mouthed?"

"Yes."

"Aren't werewolves and vampires supposed to refrain from being asses to each other? Wasn't there some huge war hundreds of years back?"

"The Romanian War of 1712." Remus answered primly. "Wiped out half of the werewolf population and three-quarters of the vampire. Resulted in the treaty that declared an official truce, which eventually lead to the Magical Creature Treaty of 1960, that states Wizards and Magical Creatures shall not interfere in the affairs of the other, unless in the event of war."

"…right." Sirius was pretty sure he'd aced that test easily, but once he used the information he didn't remember it. It wasn't like he'd need to know that sort of thing in the real world.

"Well, on the grounds that Snape is only a vampire in your paranoid delusions, I doubt it applies to us. And even if he were, our mutual hatred transcends two hundred year old treaties."

"Mutual hatred my arse. He wants to shag you."

"Go bugger yourself."

"What's the point of having a boyfriend if I have to bugger myself? That seems sort of counter-productive, don't you think?"

"Maybe I should ask Snape…my parents would like him."

"Fine, I'm sorry. But what about his creepy girlfriend?"

"What about her?"

"I mean, she just told you? Like that? It's rather melodramatic don't you think?"

"I doubt you can spell melodramatic Sirius, but other than that I don't have an opinion. Autumn's supposed to be off her rocker so maybe this is just proof."

"Maybe."

Remus was watching from the safety of his bed as Sirius fought with his trunk. Once again Sirius couldn't seem to fit all of his things into his trunk, something that happened every holiday and summer. It was funny to watch, but also always ended up with Sirius in the infirmary with a broken toe or something along those lines.

Deciding that might not be the best thing for their little charade Remus intervened. "Have you considered a bottomless charm? It'll keep your trunk from ever filling up. We all have one on ours."

Sirius muttered something along the lines of 'goddamned know-it-alls' then fell onto the bed next to Remus with a sigh. "Why did you never feel the urge to share this before?"

"It's funny." Remus said honestly. "But it might be a good idea if your toe wasn't broken when you face my family. You know, just in case my father decides to run you off or something."

Sirius snorted but the look on Remus' face was so serious it was almost scary. "You're just kidding right?"

"If Pere thought you were doing something inappropriate to his little Remmie he would revert right back to the Victorian Era." There was a pause. "That only applies to me and Raven of course, since there is nothing wrong with my brother sleeping with every girl in sight."

"Have I ever mentioned how little I like your family?"

"Once or twice." Remus smiled slightly. "If my father has his way you probably won't have to worry about sharing a room with me at least."

Sirius didn't respond to that but instead rolled onto his back. "So now, on top of everything else, I have to remember to act like your boyfriend but not too much like a boyfriend, least your father challenge me to a duel over his precious son's honor."

"My father wouldn't duel." Remus scoffed. "He'd just shoot you and be done with it."

"That…wasn't comforting."

"Wasn't meant to be." Remus smiled mischievously then gestured towards Sirius' trunk. "You want to ask Lils if she'll charm it for you?"

"I suppose that'd be safer then doing it myself." Sirius muttered then frowned. "So…where do you think she is?"

"With James."

"Obviously. I meant other then that." Sirius rolled his eyes. With James was a given, Lily was never anywhere but with James.

"Oh. Umm-" The door opened and James, Lily, and Peter walked in, an upset looking Lily at the head. "In our room apparently. That was pretty easy wasn't it?"

"Mm." Sirius said, pushing himself up onto his elbows. "Do you think we're in trouble?"

"Looks like." Remus said tilting his head off to the side. It was a little known fact that Lily kept the four of them in line, so if Lily was looking upset someone was going to get it. "Uh…Lils-"

"Don't you 'Lils' me Remus Lupin." Lily said, sounding all too much like Professor McGonagall. Maybe a little too much for Sirius' taste. He yelped and ducked behind Remus who frowned.

"Chicken."

"Love you too Moony." Sirius said, sticking out his tongue.

Remus rolled his eyes at the other teen, wondering what it'd be like to hear Sirius say those words and really mean it, before turning his attention back to the angry young woman before him.

"What'd we do?"

"You know good and damn well what you did."

"Or perhaps who would be more accurate." James muttered from behind the safety of his girlfriend.

"…huh?" Remus looked around, confused. "I haven't done anyone."

Remus very narrowly missed a smack and succeeded in knocking both him and Sirius from the bed instead. They fell in a tangle of limbs and robes. Peter snickered and James snorted. Even Lily's lips twitched a little before she continued her scolding.

"Why didn't you tell us you were together?" She demanded, hands on her hip. "We're supposed to be your friends you know, your best and closest friends. We shouldn't have to hear it from Lisa Row of all people, nasty little gossip that she is."

Remus stopped his effort to be untangled form Sirius and ended up falling back in the other teen's lap. Which, now that he thought about it, wasn't going to help them explain this any. He looked back at Sirius for the help and saw that infamous glint in the cool black eyes.

That wasn't good at all.

Instead of trying to get away from the brunette Sirius put a hand on Remus' leg to make him stay put, and graced him with a very loaded look, clearly trying to relay something him. Remus was pretty sure he understood Sirius' intent.

If they could fool their friends then Remus' family would be no problem.

"What exactly did you hear?" Sirius asked, tone perfectly innocent. In Remus' opinion that should have tipped somebody off, but apparently it didn't.

"That you two were in one of the private study rooms and doing something other than studying, some people heard you talking about that wedding Remus is going to, that he can only bring dates to, and that you were seen whispering to each other outside of the library and holding hands." Lily listed looking impatient. "So?"

"You build a very strong case Lils." Sirius said evenly. He moved his hand from Remus' leg to his hip and raised an eyebrow. "So what if we are together?"

Lily's anger vanished and she smiled widely. "Really? Since when? And why didn't you tell us?"

"A little after Christmas I guess." Sirius shrugged some, and Remus was very thankful that he was willing to take over this part, because he was nothing short of embarrassed as hell. "And we didn't tell because we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while. In case it didn't work, we didn't want you all to be weird around us."

Lily frowned a little then sighed. She dug into her pants pocket and pulled out a few coins. Peter did the same and James smiled like the cat that'd gotten the proverbial cream as he accepted the money. Both of the teens still on the floor looked…confused.

"Like you couldn't have waited until the summer to get together." Lily muttered, sitting on Remus' bed with a huff. "I just lost five knuts because of you two."

"…You had bets on when we'd get together?" Remus asked, a note of disbelief in his voice.

Peter looked a little sheepish. "Yeah. I had between Easter and the beginning of break. I thought I had won for a minute there."

Sirius laughed and rested his chin on Remus' shoulder. Remus shivered at the contact and it took all the will power he hadn't known he had to not jump up and run. "Sorry to disappoint Pete. What about you Jamesie?"

"Between the beginning of the year and Easter. Though…who wins for Siri coming out of the closet?"

"I guess Pete should win by default since I won for Rem coming out." Lily said musingly.

"I still say that shouldn't count." Peter argued. "He was never in the closet to begin with, picking before Hogwarts was too easy."

Remus' eye twitched. "With friends like you three who needs Slytherins?"

"It's all in fun." James said dismissively. There was a pause then he smiled wickedly. "Are we placing bets on when Remmie loses his virginity?"

"Hey!" Remus flushed then shook his head. This was going very high on his embarrassing moments list. "There will be no bets!"

"How do we know Sirius and Remus haven't already…" Peter trailed off, eyebrow raised suggestively. Remus was sure he was the color of an overripe tomato.

"Sirius?" James asked, looking down at his friend. Remus glanced back and saw Sirius smiling almost as wickedly as James was.

"Now, Jamesie, a gentleman never tells."

"But you aren't a gentleman, so spill."

"Then no, we haven't." Sirius smirked against his neck. "So, does that mean I can get in on this bet?"

"No, Sirius, you most certainly can not." Lily said, putting her hand back on her hip. "You may manipulate circumstances in your favor."

"I have over the summer." James said finally, then smiled at Remus apologetically. "I mean, I've met your family…they could drive even the most pure of souls…well, into the arms of Sirius."

"Gee…thanks." Sirius deadpanned. James smiled and bowed slightly.

Remus buried his face in his hands, but what he said was more or less clear. "''Vous êtes des amis horrible et quand tout ça sera finit je vais tous vous tuer."

"''C'est méchant ça, Moony." Sirius said while poking him much to everyone's surprise. Remus shook his head some and peeked through his fingers. Lily looked on the verge of swooning.

"You learned French for Remus? I wish someone would learn a language for me." She looked at James who blinked.

"But…you speak English. Why do I need to learn anything?"

Sirius smiled while Lily went on a tirade about how unromantic James was. Remus made a noise of amusement then shivered when Sirius' lips ghosted over his ear. Was Sirius' trying to dive him insane or was fate just feeling really cruel?

"I'd say this was a success."

Remus nodded shakily then crawled out of Sirius' lap. This was either a brilliant way to get Sirius to notice him or he was condemning himself to a month of pure torture.

-

-

-

About the French: I actually wrote this about a year ago and can't recall exactly what it all says… But the basic gist of the above was that Remus hates his friends and wants to kill them. Sirius replies by saying that's kind of mean.

So, first off, thanks of Obviously Oblivious, Phinea, Bishoujo, fsnake, Marauder Angel, Tanya, Xandria, and Nooka. And now on to questions and such…

The Mock Turtle: Yeah, Sirius just seems to have the 'air' of a person who gets off on tormenting those close to him…well, okay, tormenting everyone, which I don't exactly like… But when he's tormenting Remus it's cute, so it's okay.

I-Shave-Clowns: LOL. Yeah, that sounds about right. Thanks.

Korosu: I'm glad you like the Sirius character here. I had to go back and tweak some things after the fifth book came out, but I'm pretty happy with it. It's nice to know other people like it and I don't need to go try again…

Lunaris: Remus' name isn't Cerberus. _Smile_ You're taking Autumn's words too literally and assuming they apply to Remus. They don't. You must realize…I'm nuts and this is just one story in a long series… So some things won't make sense for a while. It's that damn foreshadowing… I suck at it.

Fu: Well in my defense if you haven't read it how do you know what I have and haven't changed? I could have changed chapters I never actually posted, right? Plus I had to compensate for the Fifth Book and the knowledge that Remus is half-blood and Sirius is Pure-blood. It had to change to make sense.

PanPan: _Blush_ Flattery will get you everywhere.

Lilsi: Autumn is strange and Snape does have idiot like tendencies, yeah. But don't trouble yourself over them, we probably won't see them again.


	4. Four: Its Not to Be So Alone

Wake Me Up Inside

Notes: I suppose I should have explained this better last chapter. (I think that's one of the dangers in writing. You get it because you wrote it and sometimes the fact that everyone else doesn't have the same foresight as you tends to escape you.) James and Peter were surprised/disturbed. The Bet thing was Lily's 'plan' of sorts to make it seem like they were all very supportive and not at all shocked.

Warnings: Vague incest hints or…something of that nature. Just be content in the knowledge that Sirius comes from a vastly screwed up family and probably had deeply rooted psychological issues that will most likely never be resolved. …hey, I'm a writer, not a shrink.

Chapter Four

It's not to be so alone

Remus didn't know how it happened. Sirius had left the compartment for a few moments to go to the bathroom and wound up being cornered by his brother, cousins (or whatever they were to him), Lestrange, and a wary looking Snape. If hadn't known better he would have thought Snape wanted to be anywhere except where he was.

But that didn't make sense. The creepy little bastard never missed a chance to taunt him to the fullest extent of his ability because…well, because he was Snape. It was just what he did. Usually. Not so much since the werewolf exposure thing.

Remus considered barging in and…doing something. What he wasn't really sure but he didn't think it was a good idea to let Sirius's relatives harass him anymore than they probably already had. He'd come to see what was taking Sirius so long (since he'd been missing almost ten minutes) and now was hiding less than completely discreetly in the next car. They were all huddled close to the door and he ducked to the side of it and could hear them clearly as well as see them.

…So, maybe werewolf-advanced senses weren't always so bad. And hopefully he'd go unnoticed. Not that he thought spying was a good idea. He was just…a bit curious. He couldn't be blamed for it; it wasn't like Sirius took the time to tell him anything about his family, beyond them being terrible and hatful. He'd met his parents once or twice and couldn't seem to escape the presence that was Regulus.

He hadn't cared at first because Sirius and Regulus had gotten along very well when his younger brother had started at Hogwarts but now… now they treated each other with a sort of detached air. Not that Sirius seemed to hate his brother or had turned off whatever brotherly affection he'd had. There were sill moments when Remus knew that his friend cared.

"What do you want?"

"I've heard some rumors." Bellatrix said while tilting her head to the side. She was in her seventh year, meaning that they'd hopefully be rid of her for good, along with her slightly out there boyfriend. "About you and a certain little bookworm reject."

Bookworm reject? Had she really just called him that? His brother came up with more hurtful insults in his sleep. Honestly.

Sirius bristled. "Don't call him that. It's none of your concern-"

"Of course it is!" Bell put a hand on his shoulder and shoved him back until his back was against the wall. Remus more felt then heard the dull thud. He had to fight to keep from snapping at her. How dare she put her hands on Sirius?

It was strange because Sirius once looked up to her. She was older, wiser, stronger, and had always been a bit of a mystery to him. He had been, for a time, completely entranced by her. Remus supposed it was kind of like hero worship and had been kind of jealous of how the girl had made Sirius' eyes light up by just entering a room.

Sirius liked to chalk it up to temporary insanity and a very depressing phase he'd gone through. Remus wasn't too sure about all of that but found he didn't mind much. He'd never really liked her the moment they'd first met. Something about her just wriggled its way under his skin and left him with a sick slimy feeling all over.

"We're family after all." She smiled widely, showing off her teeth. She leaned into him and her lips hovered dangerously close to his ear. Remus decided that he'd rather like to pull her face off and then shove it down her prejudiced little throat. "You don't think wanting to run away from us will change that do you Sirius?"

Stupid wench.

"Bella." Remus could hear Sirius' teeth grinding together in annoyance.

"Yes?" She sounded strange cooing like that.

"Would you kindly get the bloody hell away from me?"

Her fingers twisted in Sirius' hair and she made no move to get away from him. "Now Sirius is that any way to be treating me? You know you've always been one of my favorites and you've never been so eager to get away from me before."

Sirius put a hand on her shoulder and forcibly pushed her away. "Don't touch me. We're not…this isn't…bugger it, just don't touch me. Lastrange can't you control your girlfriend."

She scowled and shook her head. "You know better. No one controls me. I did want to tell you about my engagement."

Remus imagined how Sirius' lip must have been curling. "You actually want to marry her? …I will never understand what makes you people tick. Hell, even you three can't be this hard up for friends. Though, I hear you're engaged to that git Malfoy."

Narcissa Black, who reminded Remus more of a china doll that the Black's trotted out when they needed a pretty empty headed trinket, looked up. Her gray eyes shimmered from beneath blond bangs. She was a year behind him and had recently turned fifteen (Remus remembered the flurry of owls that had come with gifts that day.) Lucius Malfoy was turning twenty-one in the next few weeks, as it was splashed all over the papers.

It seemed kind of…wrong to Remus. Maybe it was just him though.

"Yes." She remarked softly. "I am."

He heard Sirius sigh again. "Right. Why don't you all go wallow in your happily pathetic bliss and leave my life alone? I've been blasted from the tapestry, why can't we leave it at that."

"It's not that easy Sirius. You can't just _leave_ us."

"Sure I can." Sirius sounded surprised. "You want to know if I'm with Remus? It's none of your business who I choose to be with so how about you-"

"You haven't been the same ever since you made friends with Lupin and those others."

"James and I have been friends for years."

"But you aren't buggering Potter and that makes all the difference in the world." Regulus all but growled at his brother. "What is so special about Lupin anyway? What about has you turning into such a pounce?"

"I am not turning into anything!"

"He's right." Bellatrix was speaking again, more musing than anything. "You've dated before Sirius. What secret does this little conquest hold?"

"He isn't a conquest and he doesn't have any secrets." Sirius' voice kind of dropped off towards the end and Remus couldn't help but look at Snape who looked like he was ready to flee at any moment. Apparently Sirius had looked as well because everyone else turned and Snape managed to look even paler than usual.

"You know something Severus?"

Remus heard Sirius curse softly and imagined he was glaring at Snape. Remus wanted to tell him to stop because pissing Snape off wasn't really something they could afford to do anymore. Or at least not something he could afford anymore… they'd already seen that Snape would blab to someone, even if she was a half-crazy girl who no one would believe, it was probably best not to tempt him.

Snape snorted then, while Remus contemplated what would happen when he was exposed because he doubted Snape would do anything but when confronted by his friends, spoke. "I know a great many things about many things Bellatrix. You'll have to more specific."

Remus' head collided with the wall dully as he nearly pitched over. The train had lurched and, combined with the surprise of Snape's flippant reply, he'd lost his footing. He held his breath for a moment, wondering if anyone had heard. At first he thought they were too caught up in their little glaring match to notice him, but then Snape's eyes flickered over his way.

The pale teen quirked an eyebrow in a way that could only be called ironic, before putting his eyes back on Bellatrix. Remus decided it best to duck a little bit lower just in case.

"Severus do not play games with me." Her tone held the promise of…something nasty if he defied her. Remus found himself believing she'd do something right there in the middle of the train, where anyone could come out of their compartment and see. She had never seemed to sort to mind attention, bad or otherwise. "As much…fun as you have proven to be for all of us, things can become very nasty very fast."

Snape's mouth twisted into a smile that was more like a pained grimace. "You actually thought I was having fun?"

Bellatrix moved fast…only not really. Remus saw the way her muscles tensed and how her arm cocked back clearly and he also saw Snape roll his eyes heavenward and sigh as if he saw it all as well. She smacked him and Remus imagined she did it rather hard because the sound seemed to reverberate throughout the car he was in. He half expected people to come peering out of their compartments to see what all the commotion was about.

No one did.

"You will not defy me!"

Snape didn't even flinch. He blinked mildly then put a hand to his lip, which was bleeding slightly. His tongue flicked out, gathering the blood, before shrugging in response. She growled then whirled back to Sirius.

"I'm afraid our little heart to heart will have to wait until later Sirius. You'll have to find another compartment for the ride."

Snape's lips quirked like he was going to smile or laugh but instead he just turned and left. He opened the door and a rush of air went past Remus' head. He looked up at Snape who didn't even look back down at him.

"She's rather harmless Lupin. Don't trouble yourself."

With that he began to walk down the car very deliberately. He left and Remus blinked. Who the hell was he talking about? What the hell had any of them been talking about? Why did he have such a goddamn headache all of a sudden?

The door opened again and an annoyed voice drew his attention. "Moony?"

Ah. Busted. He was pretty sure he didn't care. He was still watching the door Snape had just gone out of and decided that looking up wasn't necessary just yet. "You have a very strange family Padfoot."

He could almost feel Sirius rolling his eyes. "Saw that did you? Spying isn't nice."

"So?" He straightened up and met Sirius' eyes. The black-haired teen looked torn between amusement and worry. "I learned from you and James."

"Damn. I knew teaching you all of my tricks would come back to haunt me." The annoyance was gone from his voice and his usual laughing tone was back. An arm found it's way around his shoulders and he found himself being steered back towards where their friends were.

"I take it they didn't like me."

"Nope. They think you're the cause of me running away."

Remus snorted. The day someone could influence Sirius to do something other than what he wanted would be a cold day indeed. "I'm flattered they think so highly of me."

Sirius laughed. "Right. Just…stay away from all of them, okay?"

"Uh. Sure." He glanced over at Sirius who was staring ahead pointedly. What a weird request. "Do you mind if I ask why-"

"Yes I mind." Sirius snapped and Remus would have stopped still in shock if Sirius wasn't still forcing him to walk. The hell? He frowned. He hadn't known Sirius' voice could even have that kind of…harshness to it, let alone ever expected it directed towards him.

Even if they weren't actually dating Sirius was all but his best friend.

But he didn't ask about it, deciding it was better to just take the hint.

-----------------------

Romulus changed his mind at the last minute and ended up bringing some Slytherin girl, Rebecca somethingorother. (Safe to say Remus couldn't care less about which mindless bimbo his brother decided to bring along) Once Remus and Sirius had seen James, Lily, and Peter off they'd meet the other two teens and were currently waiting for their train.

It'd be an annoying ride out to the town near their house, at which point they'd get a ride from whomever was lucky enough to play chaperone that day. (Remus used lucky because it was common sense that if you were watching the teenage sons, than Remus' father couldn't be ordering you around.)

Though his father held Muggles in the lowest of regard, he wasn't an idiot to how their world worked. He seemed to have this strange obsession with cars and kept a few for whatever reasons. They'd ended up being useful after Raven, Remus' older sister, was conceived and his mother decided she was too delicate to walk and would need to be driven everywhere, from town to around the estate.

Remus wasn't sure what exactly he thought of that, but he did know he'd grown up with a private chauffer…or as private as anything could be when you had a twin. Yet he'd never minded walking to town. (And that was the only time he used a car, and only because his parents insisted)

…Then again, this was him. Of course he enjoyed everything the rest of his family loathed.

"I'm so glad you invited me Romulus." Rebecca was gushing and hanging on Romulus arm. Her robe was gone and now she was wearing a very low cut top and short skirt. Remus was watching her as she bounced around, trying to calculate the odds that she may spill out of her top in his head.

…Yep, he was queer. Rather than hoping she spilled out, he was analyzing the situation.

He decided the odds were slightly better than the odds she might topple over in those platforms of hers and twist her ankle. Either would have been satisfactory end results to Remus. He wasn't ashamed to admit he took a certain…pleasure in the embarrassment of others, when said others happened to be ignorant jerks.

"I wouldn't want to bring anyone else." Romulus said, while watching a girl in a mini-skirt prance by. Remus glanced at Sirius to see if he had noticed and, indeed, his friend looked like he was having a hard time not laughing.

"This is going to be so much fun."

"You must not know much about our family then." Remus said dully. Sirius hid a snort behind his hand, trying to remain the picture of politeness. Rebecca and Romulus stared at him, as if trying to gauge his exact meaning.

Really, Remus thought it rather clear, but he'd always had a problem with being too sarcastic where his family was concerned. He was, sadly, the cliché dissatisfied and angst-ridden rich kid, who shunned the 'ritzy' lifestyle and spent more time with the cook than with him own mother. (The whole werewolf thing aside because that was hardly cliché. Or maybe it was.)

"What Remus means is, it's not so much fun as it is a chance to see relatives and show off the people we've decided to bring." Romulus said, smiling at her.

"No, actually I meant that these gatherings are mind numbing, sometimes coma inducing, borderline tedious, and utterly pointless displays of wealth, status, and what pretty accessory you have on your shoulder that day." Remus pointed at Rebecca. "That'd be you, if I spoke too fast."

"You'll have to excuse Remus, dear, he's very irritable sometimes." He lowered his voice into a loud whisper. Not that it'd matter, he could whisper for real and Remus would still hear him. "He's a bit of a black sheep you see. Family affairs only upset him."

Rebecca looked at him, a hint of disdain in her gaze. He stared back placidly, not willing to let this silly little girl think he had something to be ashamed of. He almost missed the wide smirk on Sirius' face, as if he was proud that Remus as being difficult.

Finally he sighed. "What? Do you think if you stare long enough I'll start to baa?"

She frowned at him than flashed a brilliant smile towards Sirius, apparently dismissing his presence. He found he didn't care. The less people he had to deal with the better. 

"You're Sirius Black aren't you?" She asked, tone all sweetness. Remus could see right through the fake politeness, he had long ago perfected the art himself. It was how he'd survived this long with the reputation as the 'quite and mild one'. Sirius had told him a few years back it wouldn't do for anyone to know what an brilliant, but twisted, mind he hid.

Remus was inclined to agree. If anyone knew it was he who had memorized the teachers' schedules and tricked the portraits and ghosts into leaving certain corridors at just the right moments, or fine tuned all of James and Sirius' plans for realism (Sometimes their pranks bordered on the fantastic and impossible and he had to scale them down) …Well, he imagined he'd see a lot more detention.

He liked being the unassuming one who no one could ever pin anything on. Unlike James and Sirius he needed time to study and he found he couldn't do that when he was cleaning up whatever mess they'd made that day.

"Only on days that end with 'y'." Sirius said mildly.

If she got it she gave no indication and continued speaking, dropping Romulus' elbow as she did. "I had heard rumors that the two of you were together. Didn't think it was true though."

"It's amazing what you learn isn't it?" Sirius asked, tone mimicking her overly sweet one.

"Mmhmm. I always thought you were quite the witches' man." She batted her eyes and Remus raised an eyebrow. Was she hitting on his pretend-boyfriend? The nerve. A part of him screamed that he should rip her face off, how dare she even look at what was his? Stupid bi-

Wait, no. Bad Remus, Sirius wasn't his.

Yet.

But even if he wasn't, he was his date and they were standing right in front of his brother. The nerve of the little twit.

"And I thought Slytherins didn't think and I see now that I was right. I'm in awe." Sirius quipped, putting a hand on Remus' shoulder as if telling her to back off.

Romulus picked this moment to intervene. "Now, there's no reason to bring that silly rivalry with us is there? Becky, why don't you go ahead through? It's platform ten."

"Okay Rommie." Her tone was nothing short of innocent and sweet, as if she saying 'they're being mean to me for no reason'.

The moment she was on her way Romulus turned and frowned at Remus. "Keep your…boyfriend in line Remus."

Remus blinked then snorted. "Keep your whore in line and I'll see what I can do. You couldn't have brought a girl with some kind of moral code? Could her flirting have been any more obvious than it just was?"

"You couldn't have brought someone with some kind of breeding?" Romulus hissed.

"I assure you Sirius' blood is no less pure than ours. Less pure than hers though, as she seems like the poster child for the dangers of inter-family marrying." Remus said, frowning thoughtfully. Then he nodded in Sirius' direction. "Besides, I'm trying this new and wild concept called a lasting relationship and monogamy. Try it one day."

His twin glowered at him for a moment then turned and headed for the platform. Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up as he did. When he was done he offered an apologetic smile to Sirius, who was looking somewhere between bemused and annoyed.

"I'm sorry about that. It's not too late to back out, I would totally understand. My family can be...well, just imagine lots of people like Romulus and you've pretty much got the idea."

Sirius shook his head. "No, I can deal with your family…they won't all insult me to my face will they?"

"…I don't know. I wouldn't do that to anybody, but I am the black sheep…" He shrugged some.

"You are so lucky we're friends Remus." Sirius said, shaking his head ever so slightly.

Remus nodded, smiling wryly. "I know. I am forever in your debt for this."

"Yes, you are." Sirius slung his arm around his shoulder and started steering him towards the waiting train. "You know that girl is an idiot, right?"

"Yes. Romulus knows too. That's why he picked her. He likes 'em big on chest and money, but low on brains and self-worth. Then again, my father was the same and yet he ended up with my mother who is nothing short of genius…well, and a drunk…"

Remus spoke, knowing he was falling into a long since quelled habit of rambling aimlessly when he was nervous. He wasn't sure why exactly his heart was thudding like it wanted to punch through his ribcage (And why he couldn't quite banish an image of his heart flopping around on the concrete like a fish out of a water.)

Rather suddenly a hand clamped over his mouth. He inhaled sharply. Christ. "You talk entirely too much Moony. Breath would you?" Remus glanced at the other teen from the corner of his eye, wondering if he was about to pass out…

No, he couldn't pass out. How the hell would he explain that to Sirius? Did he have no kind of resolve where Sirius was involved? How pathetic was he?

He nodded and Sirius let him go. Remus shivered, not quite able to banish the feel of Sirius' fingers on his skin. Then he let out a breath of air. He was so pathetic.

"I don't believe you said whore." Sirius was snickering. Remus glared over at him before shoving his friend.

"I'll have you know I have a vast vocabulary of…foul…words." He scratched his head as he considered that. "I just choose not to use them."

Sirius didn't seem to want to let it go that easily. "You called her a whore to your brother's face."

"I wasn't lying." He muttered while shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You would have never said anything like that in school." Sirius acted as if he hadn't even heard him. "Not even if it was just in front of the three of us."

He sighed. What could he say, that his family brought out the absolute worst in him and made him turn into a person he still wasn't entirely sure he approved of?

That sounded so…insane.

-------------------

Remus drummed on the window of the car mildly, considering what he'd gotten Sirius into. The vast majority of his family would be glad to ignore him but, at the very least, his immediate family wouldn't be ignored.

His father, Jean Lupin, wasn't a complex man. Remus wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing really, but it was the truth more than anything else. He was simple and he liked things around him to be just as simple and easy to figure out as he was.

That was probably why he treated Remus the way he did. Not that he was harsh, cold, or overly cruel in any way, he just didn't react to Remus as one would expect a man to towards his son. No, he preferred to treat Remus like a daughter. He understood it to a certain degree; him being fond of boys wasn't a simple thing that his father could just…go along with. It made him a complex creature so, in order to rid himself of that complexity, Jean Lupin treated his youngest child like he would a female. That made sense to him: Liking boys equated feminine.

It made slightly less sense to Remus. He had never (and still didn't) thought himself feminine in the least, but trying to tell that to his father was like having an in-depth conversation with a brick wall.

…Only slightly less productive.

His father was over-protective, scrutinizing each and every boy Remus or his sister brought in front of him. And, though winged pigs would ice skate in hell before he told anyone, there had been a few boys Remus introduced to his parents. Nothing had ever happened, not so much as a kiss, because his father usually sent them running for the hills. He was an intimidating man. Not large in stature, per se, but he had the air of someone who would kill to protect his family.

Regina Lupin, an Englishwoman who'd married into the Lupin fold, was an interesting mix of too concerned with image to care and doting mother. Remus would never accuse his mother of not loving and cherishing her children, because he kind of feared her wrath, but he often thought she didn't care as much for them as she did the bottle.

Sometimes Remus could remember when his mother had been a completely different woman, with a ready smile and cheeks flushed naturally, who liked to run around in worn jeans and t-shirts. But considering that most of his childhood memories were of a drunken, fussy, obsessively neat anal retentive nutter…well he was sure it was just wishful thinking on his part.

Then there was his sister, Raven. She was a slut. That was pretty much it.

The rest of his family was…an interesting affair. His parents were about as accepting at it could possibly get, as far as his sexual preference went. He had an Aunt Emma who was always preaching about hellfire and burning for eternity and he regularly bit his tongue to keep from pointing out that he was a werewolf and if anything was going to go straight to hell for that, so who he felt like taking to his bed didn't really factor into anymore. He didn't care for her, but he had been raised to be a respectful child where his elders were concerned, no matter what.

His Uncle Lester, Emma's younger brother, was forever trying to set him up with 'some pretty young thing from the office' he just knew would make Remus forget all about all of that 'pouncy' shit he was so intent on being involved with. Of course Uncles Lester's pride and joy, Shannon, tried to molest Remus on a bi-daily basis so he thought it best to just ignore the man.

Clearly he wasn't the best judge of character in the world.

Really Remus had taken the awareness that he preferred his male classmates to the female rather well. He thought that in all honesty he had to be gay. There was simply no avoiding it. His life was the cosmos' way of letting off steam, how could he be anything but thoroughly abnormal?

He thought it was funny.

Sadly he was the only one that thought that… He'd tried to explain the concept to his parents once and his father had turned purple while his mother burst into loud noisy tears that had actually made him feel guilty.

He preferred not to think about it.

"Moony." It took all of Remus' will power not to jump. Sirius had, at some point, gotten very close to him and was whispering in his ear. Warm lips brushed against his ear in a gesture that was nothing short of teasing, and warm breathe wafted over his cheek.

Damn it.

He swallowed. "Yes?"

Sometimes he could almost hate Sirius. Really. _Hate._

"There's no chance that any of my family is going to be here, right?"

"…" That was the thing about Pureblood families. They all seemed to be related in one way or another and it was almost impossible to escape without seeing at least a relative of someone you knew from school. Considering that Sirius and his family weren't on the best of terms that could only make things worse.

He shrugged. Sirius sighed and moved away from him.

He cursed under his breath. It really wasn't fair.

--------------------------------

Xandria: I'm lazy. And I only wrote up to about this point before the fact I was lazy made me stop writing. Plus there is a lot of editing… But mostly I'm lazy.

Lil: Soon is such a realtive term…I promise to never to make you all wit a year for an update. Other than that…eh.

Ice: Aww…thank you.

Jane: Well, first off, thanks for the small correction. Those are things that were from the original that I forgot to fix… Lesse…Autumn isn't really Snape's girlfriend. Snape…doesn't…date. And Autumn… See, the problem is this all belongs in another story. Like I said this is part of a larger series and the follow up to Snape having a big mouth is handled later on, along with the fact that Sirius' family all appear to be insane… Think of it as foreshadowing only…more obvious.

I-Shave-Clowns: Nah, the original sucked. No need to spare my feelings. Heh. And yes, HP3 does make it rather obvious. Old married couple indeed…

Korosu: Well. I promise they'll get to hog a bunch of scenes after this. In theory anyway…

Miko: I am so not qualified to teach French. Proper English escapes me at times, as I'm sure this story proves…

Drama Queen: Thank you so much.

Phinea: Lily's reaction is accurate (that's how I was when I found out two of my male friends were dating) but it's also overdone. Ah well… And I have to admit I laughed while writing that.

Sapphire: Again with that 'soon' word…

PanPan: Well they clearly left this chapter. Passage of time between now and the first chapter is a few weeks. I think it was three… (Can't remember my own plot line…ugh.)

Benny: You want to meet Remus' family? Why?

Phoenix: We met the family, Remus sulks, Remus gets drunk, Remus sulks some more, and then I think he gets drunk again…

Elizabeth: …I don't even know when boxing day is! Here's hoping I made it, but I doubt it. Next update before my mother's birthday! (March 14th… heh. Don't hurt me…)


	5. Five: Banes of My Existance

Wake Me Up Inside

-

Chapter Five

Banes of my existence

-

"Remmie!" The moment Remus stepped out of the fireplace his mother pulled him into a tight hug. A moment later she let him go and brushed some invisible dust from her dress, muttering about dirty fireplaces.

Remus rolled his eyes. If there was even a speck of dirt in this house his mother would have some kind of seizure, he didn't doubt that for a moment. She was horrible anal about that type of thing, so much so that all three of her children were compulsive neat freaks, so they wouldn't have to listen to her whine.

Remus blamed all of his various issues on his parents.

The first of which was his irrational hatred of being called 'Remmie'. Yes, Sirius and James and Peter called him that but only because they look a perverse sort of delight in watching him twitch. (Besides, it was only fair that if he called them Siri, Jamie, and Petey that they be allowed to torment him back.)

"So, Remus, where is your boyfriend?" Raven asked twirling a strand of curly brown around one of her fingertips. She was the oldest child at twenty, but also the pride and joy. Romulus brought up a close second though.

Remus…well, Remus was Remus. He could never be anything except the black sheep of the family, the child they frowned over, clucked about, and always glossed over in conversation. Even when he'd made Prefect his parents had regarded him with the same sort of thinly veiled shame they always reserved just for him.

He'd pretty much given up after that.

Raven was smart, pretty, proper, and a gossip. Basically a miniature slightly ditzy version of their mother. Remus liked her even less then he liked Romulus, which was a big thing. And the only reason he preferred Romulus was because he was his twin and, before his brother had become a manwhore, he had been a decent person.

And even if he hadn't been that twin…connection was something that even years of hatred couldn't put a dent into. That's why he would be the hardest to fool.

"I told him about you and he ran away." Remus deadpanned while quirking an eyebrow at her. Romulus snorted from his corner of the room. Rebecca was nowhere to be seen, but Remus just assumed a servant had seen her to her quarters.

One of the few things they still had in common was a mutual dislike for Raven and her beyond haughty ways. It would be one thing if she were just the typical Lupin family snob; it was totally different if she was a snob with intelligence to back it up.

Raven made a face at him and started to retort when her eyes flickered behind Remus. Remus turned slightly to see Sirius standing behind him, a slightly bemused expression on his face. He imagined Sirius would look like that a lot for the next three weeks.

Perfectly understandable, since Remus' immediate family was all standing in the parlor, which was…well…so expensively furnished it was laughable. The cottage itself was much the same, save Remus' rooms, which were pretty simple and basic. Mostly because he had hoped never to come back here after the last family gathering and hadn't taken the time to really 'move in' to the space he was given. Clearly that had been wishful thinking on his part.

Damn it.

"If it isn't Remus' little friend, Sirius." His father's smile was obviously fake and totally plastered on and even then it looked strained, almost like he was in pain. "You remember Regina, Remus had him and those other two boys over for Christmas dinner."

Remus loved it. He wondered if that mad him sick, taking pleasure in his parents' obvious discomfort. If so he blamed them for that as well. Life was really a lot less complex when he didn't take responsibility for his own faults. It cut down on the long hours of teenage angsting late at night while staring at the ceiling and thinking about the annoyance he called life.

"Yes, it is." His mother blinked. "How…nice to see you again, Sirius. But I thought you knew the rules Remus, no friends."

"I know. Sirius is my date." Remus said smiling at the thunderstruck looks on his parents' faces. Raven just looked bored and Romulus was…indifferent seemed to be a good word for it. His parents recovered quickly.

He hadn't expected any less of them. They were almost as good at this little game as he was. He couldn't be outright aggressive with them, but he'd learned all of the loopholes to use and all of the right buttons to push and…well, it made life interesting.

"Really? How long has Sirius been your…date?" His mother asked. She was clutching her wine glass a little too tightly. It was going to break any minute now. He gave it two minutes. His mother wasn't a big woman or overly strong looking, but all of the emotion she kept bottled up tended to come out in the most amusing of ways.

"Around Christmas." Remus said easily. Sirius was standing right behind him, close enough that it couldn't be misinterpreted as just…friendly contact, but not touching so much his father would break out his wand.

"While you were at home?" Wow. He hadn't realized his father had a vein in his temple that throbbed when he was upset. Apparently the idea that he could have started a relationship under his roof was causing him to achieve new levels of anger.

He shrugged. "Around that time."

"And you didn't say anything?" Raven asked, blue eyes skeptical. Like he would have told her even if he and Sirius were really going out.

"I didn't want to jinx it. Unlike you, I'd like to have a guy around for longer then it took him to get me in bed." His voice took on a noticeable cold edge. Raven looked scandalized and sat up from her place on the couch, ready to retort.

"You shouldn't say such things about your sister." His mother scolded. Her grip on her glass hadn't increased, but it hadn't lessened either.

"But…they're true." Remus crossed his arms over his chest daring someone to argue with him. No one did, but his father frowned.

"You know, your sister's new boyfriend is here as well."

"So you swore not to put out unless he came with you?" Remus asked.

"You loudmouthed little-"

"Raven!" Their mother said, a hand over her heart. For a moment Remus thought that the woman might pass out due to being exposed to anything other then perfection within her family. She was either very deluded or very drunk. It was hard to be sure which. 

The girl bared her teeth angrily, not that Remus cared. His were longer anyway…great, his family was starting to make him take pleasure in the fact he was a freak of nature. Bloody fantastic. Raven flounced out, managing to keep her mouth shut.

It wouldn't last once Remus got out of the room and away from their parents.

"Why can't you be nicer to your sister?"

"…Because I don't like her." Remus said after a moment of thought. "Come on Sirius, I'll show you to my room."

"He'll be staying in the adjoining bedroom right?" Mr. Lupin asked, one hand clenching at his side, as if the very thought of Sirius sharing a room with his son was the worst thing imaginable.

"But Pere, I was hoping for a long night of wild, sweaty, noisy sex." Remus said, looking at the ceiling and noticing it was freshly painted. His mother turned a nice shade of purple, and Romulus choked on, as far as Remus could tell, air. He could feel Sirius smiling at him and it made a warm flush spread over his body. "Yes, he's sleeping in the other room."

He and Sirius left the room before anything else could be said and, with an annoyed sigh, Remus headed down the hallway that lead to the back door of the cottage.

"That…was enlightening."

Remus blinked at Sirius over his shoulder. "It was?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you stand up for yourself before."

Remus nodded, because it was true. As far as school went Sirius and James usually defended him and Peter from the Slytherins, who were the only people they had issues with. Peter because the youngest boy…wasn't the most…capable person in the world. And Remus because, quite frankly, he was afraid to get mad at people. Even though he only changed at the moon, sometimes he could feel…the wolf right below the surface of his skin, begging to get out and rip anyone within ten meters of him to shreds for daring to look at him, let alone speak to him like they did.

It was easier to not give into the impulse if he wasn't upset.

"With my family it's different. I know, no matter how much I think I would like to, I'll never hurt them, because they're my family." And if there was anything his wolf took seriously, it was family.

And there didn't seem to be any major complaints in his attempt to get Sirius. One a few occasions his beast had been pretty…against anyone he might have a crush on.

Not that Remus could talk to the wolf, he could just imagine how his friends would take something like that, it was more of a feeling. A connection almost.

Remus led Sirius to the back of the house and outside. His father's 'cottage' was the only one with two floors, mostly because Remus needed the space when it got close to a full moon. Remus didn't mind being distanced from his family, the more room the better. He was still holding out hope one day they'd forget he was up there.

Sirius stayed right behind him as he jogged up the steps to the porch. It was an old wooden wrap around deal and a few chairs were scattered about it, not that Remus particularly cared. He spent most of his time inside reading anyway.

He pushed open the door and walked inside. He stopped so suddenly at what he found that Sirius collided with his back and nearly knocked him over. The older boy grabbed him by the waist and pulled his against him. Remus closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the warmth that seeped from the younger teen. Then he coughed, gathered his wits, and laid his customary glare at the two sitting on his couch.

"Shannon, Eden, how the hell did you get up here?"

Shannon smiled, showing off a row of perfectly straight teeth, before brushing a strand of blond hair from his eyes. "Your mother let us in. We so wanted to meet your boyfriend before dinner."

"If I had a wand I would hex the two of you out of the nearest window." Remus said tone taking on the annoyed deadpan it always did when he was forced to deal with his relatives. "Now, if you two would kindly get the hell out."

The darker haired girl, Shannon's younger sister Eden, frowned. "You know, Remmie," He twitched at the pet name. "Sometimes I'm sure you don't like us."

"And sometimes I'm sure you're an idiot and then you go and surprise me with an insight like that." Remus drawled before pointing at the door. "Get out."

"Fine." Shannon said, standing up. Eden looked unhappy but slunk out after her brother, pausing for a moment to give Sirius a once over followed by an appreciative grin. Sirius shrunk back, not liking the way she was looking at him in the least.

Remus stepped between them, glowering heatedly. She pouted again, lower lip trembling, before turning and walking out, hips swaying what may have been enticingly. Remus couldn't say for sure because it certainly wasn't doing anything for him.

He glanced back at Sirius, to see if he'd noticed, and found his friend looked borderline traumatized. He probably wasn't used to family members blatantly flirting with the people others brought home.

"…My family is kind of screwed up." Remus muttered finally stomping further into the room.

"Kind of?"

"…Really?"

Sirius laughed softly and continued to trail at his heels. "It's okay. It's like being with my family… Minus my crazy mother of course."

He pushed open the double doors, which were painted white with golden accents, and headed down the hall. There were four rooms on this floor. The front room, obviously, then the bathroom which was on one side of the hall, and the two adjoining bedrooms on the other side. (Remus rather liked the bathroom actually. It was roughly the size of the two bedrooms, which seemed borderline ridiculous, but it had its upsides.)

He turned into the second bedroom, which was the one he'd be using. He pushed open the two large glass doors that lead to the porch, airing out the room. The furniture was covered with white sheets, save the four-poster bed he'd be sleeping in. At the other end of the room was a door, which led to the other bedroom, where Sirius would be sleeping.

"You know I'm starting to think you don't need my help dealing with your family." Sirius said, watching Remus grab the sheets.

The brunette smiled ruefully. "Sixteen years of this has built up a defensive barrier, but eventually they manage to break me down. It's constant talking about how I don't make friends with the other purebloods at Hogwarts or in our family and aren't interested in the accepted girls…or boys for that matter. Stuff about…me being a tragic disappointment to my poor mother and father and how it's a shame I'm not as promising as Romulus is. The whispering…"

He trailed off bit his bottom lip before walking outside. He glanced over the edge of the porch and, with a smirk, dropped the gathered sheets onto his sister's head. He was wiling to wager the guy with her was her new boyfriend, but there was no guarantee.

"Any help you can offer is needed." Remus finished, waving at Raven who was cussing angrily. He'd been getting dangerously close to that less than happy place his extended family sometimes forced him into, but annoying his sister always made things seem much better.

A hand touched the railing next to him and he glanced over his shoulder, startled to find Sirius standing right behind him and peering down.

"I'm more than happy to help you maintain your sanity." Sirius said with a smile.

Remus swallowed. "What sanity? If I were sane I wouldn't have agreed to this. I mean, who would believe we were going out?"

Sirius shrugged a little bit, leaning closer to Remus. "Our friends believed it and who knows us better then them, right?"

"No one, I guess." Remus said, feeling his palms starting to sweat.

"You never know, they might know something we don't." There was that grin.

Not the one that had the girls in Hogwarts swooning when ever Sirius graced them with it, because Remus knew that was fake and for show. It was that slow heart-melting smile that had made Remus first realize that there was more than your everyday camaraderie where Sirius was concerned. It made his insides twist in all sorts of interesting shapes, his stomach drop to his knees and his brain come grinding to a complete halt.

And who the hell came up with all of those stupid sayings anyway? Wasn't there a less pouncy way of saying that someone made you hot? Honestly…

Sirius could plunge a silver dagger into his heart and run off with Snape, but as long as he smiled like that while he did Remus wouldn't give a damn.

Because he knew no one else would get this smile, ever.

Oh, and because he was really pathetic.

Remus found himself leaning back some and tilting his head slightly, raising his eyebrow in question. One of Sirius' hands touched his arm and the taller teen leaned down. Remus felt a shiver run up his spine in spite of the heat.

He wondered for a moment if this was just part of the scam but pushed the thought from his mind. If this was just part of the plan then Sirius was fooling even him. …And he really didn't mind.

"Pervert!"

Remus yelped as he was hit with an icy blast of water. Sirius jumped back but ended up slipping and falling on his arse. Hard. The black-haired teen let out a groan of pain and touched his lower back which wincing.

"That was not fun."

Remus maintained his footing by gripping the porch railing then shook his head to get his now soaked hair out of his face. Sirius watched him for moment then shook his head as well doing a fair imitation of a wet dog.

Then again, if anyone could do an impression it'd be Sirius.

"Bitch!" He shouted back down at his sister before glancing back at Sirius. If calling Romulus's date names surprised him he'd probably be shocked into a coma before the end of the day. Sirius blinked up at him, eyes going round in shock.

"Takes one to know one!"

He snarled. He didn't think there was a jury in the world that could hold him responsible for ripping her head off and spitting down her throat right now. (When had his little death fantasies gotten so…gruesome anyway? He was starting to notice his imagination was getting more and more vividly bloody as time went on. Then again maybe he was just losing his mind.)

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"So you'll keep your sick little displays of affection to yourself!" She shouted back sounding far too pleased with herself. Remus winced slightly, because damn if that didn't hurt more than a little bit, but glared down at her anyway.

"You first!"

Their mother came out from the front door, a fresh glass of wine in hand. He wondered what number that was for the day. It was almost time for dinner so she had to be getting close to the double digits. "What's going on?"

Raven was quick to respond. "Remus and his little boyfriend were making out on the porch. I just stopped them before anyone else in the family could see them. What would they say?"

He sighed and put a hand to his head in hopes of warding off the headache he could feel forming behind his eyes. He really should have seen this coming. If she was good at nothing else it was turning a situation to her advantage. That was why she was the favorite.

"Remus!" His mother gasped looking up at him, utterly horrified. He considered saying something rude but decided he didn't want to kill his mother just yet. It was still early in the celebration after all; if she dropped dead now there was a good chance they'd have her buried in time for them to be able to come back for the wedding.

Remus just shook his head and sighed. Why did it have to be him? He turned and looked at Sirius, who was back on his feet and a small puddle was beginning to form around him.

He actually looked good wet… his t-shirt was clinging to him and showed that yes, Quidditch truly was a fantastic thing where Sirius was concerned. …bad thoughts, bad thoughts. He had to get Sirius dry before anything else happened.

"…On the upside, we were probably going to change for dinner anyway." Remus said, pushing Sirius back inside. He was attempting to make the best of it and pretend his sister hadn't bothered him and trusted Sirius to play along. True to form his friend grinned from behind a curtain of stringy black. "Your room is through that door. Some house elves should have been airing it out already."

"Then your sister did us a favor." Sirius said cheerfully, before slipping into the adjoining bedroom. Remus ran a hand through his hair, noting that he was going to need to cut it soon. He, unlike Sirius, didn't really like the long unwashed, uncut look. Not on him anyway, it looked great on Sirius.

Then again what didn't look good on Sirius. Life was cruel.

As he opened his trunk he couldn't help but wonder what may have happened had his sister not provided that rather rude interruption.

"We might have actually gotten in trouble for a good reason then." Remus muttered.

Making out in public…his mother was probably hyperventilating at the very thought of someone seeing such indecent behavior. Either that or she was pouring herself another drink while whining at his father, who was probably once again wondering what had possessed him to marry such a woman. He was sure to be treated with a lecture about keeping his actions inside (or to not have any 'actions' at all) while Raven skipped off to be with her boyfriend and giggle at getting him in trouble.

Of course Romulus was encouraged to do such things, in order to maintain his reputation and…status among the other boys here. Raven's public actions were frowned upon, as it was improper for young ladies to be so…forward.

And, since he preferred boys, the same applied to him. Which was idiotic, but no one around him cared. He was sure they would have all been much happier had he been born a girl, since they pretty much treated him like one anyway.

It was enough to give someone a fucking complex.

He frowned while putting his clothes into his dresser and contemplated that. Yep. A big glaring complex. Like he wasn't screwed up enough already. His family was determined to push him into the 'female' category in order to make him easier for him to deal with.

He was kind of…wary of having Sirius around them for that reason, among others. He was gay, yes, but he sincerely doubted anyone had ever been under the misconception that he was girly or effeminate in any sense of the words. Sure, he wasn't some beefy Quidditch player and he wasn't big on fighting, but most people didn't try to mess with him.

Some of the stupider ones, yes, but there was no helping morons except to pray that they never managed to spawn and further contaminate the world with their overwhelming ignorance.

Sirius coming here and seeing how his parents treated him…

"I knew this was a bad idea."

But there wasn't much he could do about it now. He would have to suck it up and deal. But it was only three weeks and he'd done it dozens of times before. With Sirius' help he would be able to survive this and when it was all over he could beg Sirius to never mention the events that were to transpire to anyone.

Yeah. That sounded like a good plan.

He sighed.

-

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Saavik: Heh. _Blushes_ Thanks. The scene with Bella and Snape was a little tough to write. Lots of 'is it too dramatic? Out of Character? Where's my scotch…' and so on.

Drama Queen: They…don't like him. At all. But we knew that already.

Xandria: Not as much laziness as before, thankfully, but I was still slacking. Again, I'm sorry…

Falmenco: I assure my Remus is everything but effeminate and dopey. In my opinion if anyone was going to be kind of girly it's be Sirius, not Remus. But that's just me. I love Snarky!Remus. I can't see someone who isn't quick or at least mildly useful being allowed to hang out with Sirius and James.

I Shave Clowns: Never again huh? Well, don't worry, Remus is going to be feeling your pain soon. But it's okay…drunken Remus is always a trip to write.

Amaroq: Yeah. Sirius is clearly all over Remus but Moony is just a bit too busy with the self-pity wallowing to do anything except curse the day Padfoot was born. Though, to Remus' credit, we can't be sure how Sirius is at the moment. Sirius just isn't a serious kind of guy.

Driven To Insanity: That's okay, I don't normally make a habit of writing PG-13 or humor fics soo…we're all doing something different at the moment.

Demonic Duo: I am determined to get this totally written and complete this time around. Which doesn't mean much, because I was determined last time but…well, here's hoping.

Leeae: I know not the meaning of the word soon, sadly.

Hannio: Sirius and Remus will have their fair share of moments, trust me. It's their story after all.

Sara: Ah, see, quick is another word I don't know the meaning of. Go figure.

Julian: Ah, now more can I can define.

Bitter: Well that is the question isn't it? Does Sirius like Remus? Is he trying to show it and Remus is just a dork? Or is Sirius just a touchy-feely kind of guy and Remus is being forced to suffer for it? You just have to wait and see my dear.

PanPan: Yes, Remus is a sarcastic bastard but his family made him that way! Once upon a time he was a nice innocent…you don't believe me do you? Damn. Well…it's not really true anyway. My Remus is always sarcastic, biting, and a touch on the cynical side. I'm not sure why, he just…is.

Not-Yet-Written: Sirius is sexy, its true, and he does seem to like pouncing on Remus who also thinks he's sexy which makes him less sexy and more cruel and mean to our favorite werewolf. But it's okay…it's funny.

Blonk: Ack, again with that word…


End file.
